McMaster Residency Services has recently confiscated 12 sets of benching equipment over the past few weeks. Suspicions began after numerous complaints about complete elevator occupancies, as well as disruptive noise at odd hours. Upon investigation, Residency Services discovered full sets of benching equipment in the dorms of Mary Keyes, Les Princes, and McKay Halls. The Bachelor of Health Sciences (Honours) students have once again taken instruction from their inquiry facilitators too literally and too far.
“Well, we asked our facilitator how to pre- pare for our benchmarking activity,” said Felix Chingson (Year 1), “and since they responded with ‘What do you think Benchmarking means?’ we just did the most sensible thing we thought of.”
Many students protested the removal of the equipment, demanding that at least one bench press remain installed for their preparations. Upon learning that bench- marking is not literally a benching activity, students lashed out in frustration, some go- ing so far as to burst into tears.
A kinesiology student in Mary Keyes residence commented: “When I first saw the bench presses, I was really excited to be able to exercise in the res, but the health science students hogged them all day, just like the common rooms.” The BHScs involved are reportedly now “unsure” of what to do with their overdeveloped pecs.
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The Procrastinator 