The small community of Westdale is experiencing an unprecedented boom in chiropractic clinics. With the new influx of chiropractors snuffing out restaurant businesses left and right, members of the community are seeking answers.
Upon investigating the new clinics, reporters discovered that nearly all of the clients were McMaster BHSc students. When questioned, 2nd year John Smith, who requested to remain anonymous, responded: “My back went into utter sh*ts after carrying my group through biochem inquiry.” When pressed for more, Smith reported feeling that his project group “did jack all for months”, lamenting his experience of having to “yolo-solo all of it in like the last two days.”
Smith was not the only one reporting back pain woes. “Their slides didn’t even have animations!” Exclaimed another student. “I had to redo all of it. And now my L3-L4 are shot”. Another student reportedly invoiced her group members for her chiropractic treatment, explaining: “I just wanted to give them one last opportunity to contribute to our project.”
The students must now wear a lower back brace for the next six months while receiving weekly spinal realignments. Smith remained optimistic, however, expressing his hope that the new back brace will “provide the support that [his] group never gave.”
Spiciness Rating:
The Procrastinator 