Hamilton Police continue to be puzzled by the yearly disappearance of third year students from McMaster’s Bachelor of Health Science (Honours) Program. “Mia was supposed to be in our Peer Tutoring class, but she never showed,” said the friend of one missing student. “Every knows you can only legitimately skip peer tutoring once every four classes.” The student in question eventually decided to contact the police, only to discover that Mia was only one of dozens of classmates reported to be missing.
Investigators initially believed that the missing students were linked by a shared volunteering position at a local cardiology centre, but this theory was swiftly debunked when it was found that all Health Sciences students worked there. The current theory revolves around a series of leads pointing to a shadowy organization whose symbol appears to be a coiled snake on a staff.
“We are now treating this case as a mass abduction,” stated one BHSc administrator. “It is inconceivable that our students would voluntarily abandon their 4th year theses to join a group with such an ominous logo.” BHSc faculty are currently working with police to find what they are now calling a ‘snake cult’, with the goal of dismantling the group. “These snake-worshippers are the worst sort,” said one campus police officer. “These things they’re doing, it’s disgusting.”
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The Procrastinator 