20-year-old Ollie Tamold has recently passed away after inhaling a lethal amount of asbestos fumes. The story of Ollie’s death began with his improper completion of his 3H03 Inquiry Project safety form. We reached out to Ollie’s roommate who would often listen to Ollie venting about the course. Said roommate recalled that Ollie was frustrated about having to complete Asbestos, WHMIS, and Workplace Violence training in order to conduct a narrative review from his bedroom.
Investigations by Hamilton police revealed that Ollie had simply clicked through the Asbestos safety slides and made random educated guesses on the final quizzes until he got the answers right. Our reporters learned that this is not the first tragedy attributable to improper completion of safety training. In the Ergonomics Mishap of ‘02, a student’s poor posture led to thoracic vertebral kyphosis and subsequent death.
Ollie, who lived in a decrepit, rickety, industrial-era crack den was totally unaware that the exposed drywall was riddled with asbestos. McMaster University was quick to release a statement denying liability, “Of course it is a terrible tragedy, but if Ollie had only paid any attention whatsoever to the safety quizzes, then he would still be alive today.”
Ollie is survived by his cat, Madame Tufflesnout.
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The Procrastinator 