McMaster staff continue to be puzzled by a miasmic odour permeating through first year residences, causing a mass exodus in the past three days. While CA’s remain tightlipped, some residents speculate that their keener BHSc roomates may be involved.
“My roommate keeps hiding mouldy sandwiches in the fridge behind my Ice Cold Cans of Delicious. Refreshing. PepsiTM,” said one anonymous student on Mac Confessions. “The smell was awful, but he kept refusing to clean it, saying he was busy playing League of Legends.” Other witnesses have spotted similar rancid sandwiches in their mini-fridges, closets, and washing machines. “My roommate was writing a lab report on mould last night,” added one source: “He told me it was for cell bio but everyone knows Health Sci courses are too hipster to require lab reports.”
Concurrently, Procrastinator reporters have also identified an influx of wet-lab research positions being added to first-year LinkedIn profiles, all pertaining to a mysterious study about “Fungal development on carbohydrate-rich substrates.” One student reportedly took it one step further, publishing a study describing their experiences consuming the moldy sandwich (Carson 2018, BMJ). This stomach-turning trend reportedly began after a health sci finessed a paid research position in first year by citing the observations of a mouldy sandwich as “previous lab experience”. Further investigation into this topic has been blocked at the bribery request of the 4X03 Pimp-My-OMSAS Initiative.
Spiciness Rating:
The Procrastinator 