13 BHSc students have reported peculiar sightings of what they refer to as the Great Oracle of Healthphi, who communicates with the living world at 11:59 pm through a secret dimension hidden in the MDCL atrium.
In an exclusive interview with Procrastinator reporters, one of the students, Iama Keener, claimed, “I was taking my group photo after my final biochem presentation when I heard a faint whisper coming from behind the waterfall. As I raised my hand to feel the water, I was pulled into a black void and taken into another dimension, back to ancient Greece in the year 400 BC. An illuminated spirit walked in, claiming to be a messenger of Apollo himself.”
At this point in the interview, the student went into a possessed trance, reciting strange rituals which she later claimed were the proclamations of this messenger:
“Love of twelves and nothing else will ruin Sparta”
“I only love my bed and my momma, I’m sorry”
“Hear your fate, O dwellers in HSL;
Either your famed, great GPA must be sacked by Anatomy’s sons,
Or, if that be not, the whole land of MDCL
Shall mourn the fall of a pathogen of the house of Wolfpack,
For not the strength of wolves or of marauders shall hold him,
Strength against strength; for he has the power of Inquiry,
And will not be checked until one of these two he has consumed.”
And,
“The answers to the Fall 2018 2F03 final are AAANOBBBPAINCCCNODDDGAIN”
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