Tap E. Aoki, Tarah Slush, Boba Wang
ABSTRACT: Bubble tea beverages from vendors (n = 5) within a 5 km radius of McMaster University were tested for psychoactive agents. The results indicate that the drinks contained traces of ‘substance X’- a compound that has been known to be used in mind-control experiments.
Discussion: Bubble tea is a popular beverage among Health Sciences students for its accessibility and taste, with some students self-diagnosing themselves with a “bubble tea addiction” (BTA). Avid bubble tea drinkers (n = 1,200) were interviewed, and 105% reported having common delusionary periods. During these periods, students’ experiences ranged from romantic dreams of first year Cell Bio professors to strong beliefs of the ability to get into medical school by third year. It took an average of 2 hours for substance X to leave the bloodstream, and students would subsequently fall into a state of depression once they had to face reality. The evidence shows that Big Boba is targeting students, but for what reason? Further research is needed to elucidate this relationship.
Spiciness Rating:
The Procrastinator 