Welcome to Dear Dendrites, where our team of registered psychotherapists works tirelessly to provide you with top-quality advice. For this issue, we’ll be diving into your teenage hearts’ truest desires. From deciding which clique you should join, to maximizing your future career potential, to realizing you’ve got the forbidden hots for a l*fe sci student, we’ve got the answers and intellect to spare. Submit inquiries via Facebook or our website and we may answer them in our next issue!
Dear Dendrites,
I sharted while doing yoga in my HABITS tutorial last week. I’m so embarrassed! What should I do?
— Anita Schitt
Dear Anita,
Make sure to bring it up during your next tutorial and go in a circle to ask how everyone felt about it. Turn your downward-dog disaster into yet another uncomfortable learning and discussion moment for the class.
Dear Dendrites,
My boyfriend wants to try something called the “transverse supinated cowgirl” but I don’t think I can pull it off. Do you have any advice?
— Regular Cowgirl
Dear Regular,
Don’t do anything you’re not ready for. I would recommend starting off slow with a good ol’ fashioned hand holding. If you want to get real intimate, try sharing some personal childhood trauma, or your plan-B for when you don’t get into med school!
Dear Dendrites,
I’m having a hard time making friends. The cool cell bio kids only sit with each other during class, and the last time I tried to talk to them they called me horse-girl and pushed me down the stairs. Any tips for meeting new people?
— Clyde Sdale
Dear Clyde,
Did you ever stop and think that maybe your presence was contributing to an unsafe space for everyone? Maybe pushing you down the stairs was a form of self-care? Just something to think about.
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