Horoscopes

Aries

The stars are aligning for you! Your next group project will yield interesting results for your future. Perhaps a new lover is in the cards? 

Taurus

You’ve been working so hard lately! Make sure to not stop working hard, those autobiographical sketches won’t fill themselves out! 

Gemini

Boys can be confusing! They’re all like, “I don’t want to do the references for this presentation,” even though the references aren’t even that hard, like ugh, what’s up with that? If you’re sending mixed signals, be truthful with your crush! He’ll appreciate your honesty and do the references himself. 

Cancer

Take a risk this month! Finish that 4X03 POA that’s a month and a half late already! No one will notice. 

Leo

Your BFF is being distant :(. Turns out you’re crushing on the same PI! Uh-oh! Talk to her and make sure she understands that no one will stand between you and that NSERC research position you’ve been chasing for the last three months. Friendship is temporary, research is forever. Stay strong!

Virgo

When you face an obstacle this month, take the easy way out. Trust me, it’s way easier that way. They’re always like, “Work hard to get what you want!” But believe me, that takes like, WAY more effort. 

Libra

The new season means it’s time for a new wardrobe! Stop wearing exclusively BHSc merch and sweatpants to lectures. You’d be surprised how much fun new look will keep your spirits up for the cold weather (and Life Scis will hate you less)!

Scorpio

The crush you’ve had your eye on since September will start to notice you. Or not, I can never tell when people are just playing with my feelings or when they’re being genuine. Someone please help me I’m so lonely. 

Sagittarius

That boy you’ve had a crush on since forever might just be coming around this month! Make sure to keep on going to Health Policy lectures, you might just see him there! You do go to Health Pol, right?

Capricorn

Let your creative side shine through this month! Direct a play, record a song, keep a dream journal, write subpar satire for a niche BHSc-centric magazine with a tiny target demographic and a dysfunctional editorial team. We took photos cosplaying as BTS last week, for god’s sake! What am I doing with my life? 

Aquarius

Your friends mean everything to you, and that’s awesome! That way, when you apply for executive positions within their clubs, you’ll have a head start! Networking!

Pisces

When you’re unsure about something this month, make sure to consult The Procrastinator’s advice column, Dear Dendrites. Their panel of award-winning satire writers, comprised of the smartest minds from the most prestigious undergraduate program in Canada, will help guide you along the journey that you are taking. Check out their work at https://bhscprocrastinator.com/advicecolumn/