The Procrastinator reporters have recently unearthed a new scheme put in place by the BHSc office, involving major changes to Anatomy and Physiology 2F03 and 2FF3 courses for September 2020. BHSc whistleblowers have anonymously informed us that dark and powerful members of the faculty have forced Dr. Bouncy Ball into retirement so that “Anatomy Inquiry” can finally come into fruition.
With our beloved champion of anatomical education forcibly removed, the BHSc faculty have put in place measures to make the course “reflect Health Sci values.”
Taking direction from the McMaster Medical School, the new Anatomy Inquiry 2FU6 is now being offered as an elective in order to give students even more free time to whore themselves out to willing P.I.s to beef up their ABS.
The new course curriculum consists of one twelve hour class per year in which groups of 10-15 students are locked in an MDCL room with one, fresh, undissected cadaver and a dull butter knife. This new form of hands-on experiential learning is thought to encourage peer collaboration, problem solving, and creative methods of desecration. Students will be distributed designated vomit buckets, however any form of reverse peristalsis will cause them to be docked 5% for showing weakness.
The marking scheme of Anatomy Inquiry will include a 20% weighted midterm, in which students will be expected to successfully remove each object from the patient in the “Operation” board game without triggering the alarm while a TA distractingly whispers the HABITS body scan erotically into their ear. The final exam consists of an 80% bellringer with 30 stations. There will be no questions to answer, and instead each student will be given two minutes to speed-write a single page reflection on how each specimen, ‘‘makes them feel’’.
Should any student fail the course, they will appear in front of the entire BHSS stripped naked and oiled up, and be forced to wrestle any facilitator of their choosing in order to keep their acceptance to the BHSc program.
Though this novel method of teaching anatomical science has been previously untested, the BHSc office is confident that Anatomy Inquiry will best prepare their students for their bright futures in the real world.
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