If these questions seem less funky, fresh, and fierce, it’s because they were submitted by your peers. This is not our fault. Enjoy regardless. If you would like to submit sub-optimal questions for super-optimal replies, you can submit inquiries via Facebook or our website and we may answer them in our next issue!
Dear Dendrites,
How to tell your thesis supervisor that you messed up first term and did essentially no work at all?
— Generic 4th Year
Dear 4th Year,
Just tell your thesis supervisor that you messed up and did essentially no work at all. Then tell the BHSc office and open wide for your 12.
Dear Dendrites,
I have a crush on my friend but they have their sights on a MD student. Procrastinator what should I do!
— Desperate Health Sci
Dear Desperate,
Idk like work harder? Become an MD? Tell your friend that they should take a chance on a health sci with no future earning potential? Your friend is chasing that (OMA) bag; here at The Procrastinator, we respect the hustle.
Dear Dendrites,
What do I do if I am in love with my peer tutor?
— Horny 1st Year
Dear Horndog,
It sounds like you need to access the forbidden ‘P’: Professing Your Love. Every year, thousands of first year students fall in love with their peer tutors. This is because peer tutors are unpaid, and therefore, more likely to flirt back in order to stir the pot. Unprofessional? Yes. More spicy gossip for your facilitators? Absolutely.
Dear Dendrites,
Someone keeps interrupting me in my Inquiry class. What should I do?
— Student, Interrupted
Dear Interrupted,
A quick jab to the trachea should do the trick
Spiciness Rating:
The Procrastinator 