This story was sent in by an anonymous contributor. We can only hope that it is purely a work of fiction, and that none of our readers see themselves in the horrors recounted here.
It’s 4AM, and the house is quiet. The light from your 4K Ultra HD Monitor highlights the bags under your eyes as you type furiously on your keyboard. The buttons elude you — click, clack, click, clack. Cold sweat rolls down your face as you notice you’ve left an entire section blank. With only a week left, you’re about to freak out, but you remember you still have the ouija board and human sacrifices that helped you write your healthsci supp app. You race down the hall into the closet and dig until you find the board. Blowing dust off the cover, you immediately feel a chill run down your spine.
Feeling faint, you open the lid and take the board back to your laptop. With a shaky voice, you ask, “What club should I join for a day to put down in the extracurricular section on my OMSAS application?”
You let the arrow go and the pointer begins to move. Achingly slow, it crawls to the letter P. You begin to wonder what it could possibly be spelling out. The Peptide Rights club? The next letter is an R, and your options begin to dwindle. You exclaim to the unhearing wind, “What could it be?”
The horror sets in as the arrow continues to point. Oh God, no. It can’t be. Say it ain’t so!
But it’s too late, the ouija board has spoken.
Procrastinator.
Tears well up in your eyes as you realize that applications to join The Procrastinator were due last week. Your hopes for this cycle are dashed. Procrastination has been your downfall.
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The Procrastinator 