In a shocking turn of events, the Faculty of Health Sciences has announced that starting next term, Inquir-Wii will be added as an online platform for professors to run their courses. While Microsoft Teams, Avenue2Learn, Kritik and Zoom will still be available, Inquir-Wii is expected to become the primary platform for online learning. Inquiry coordinator Barkaret Becord stated this morning, “The Faculty of Health Sciences has encountered numerous issues this term due to the transition to online learning, namely internet problems under suspicious circumstances and a general lack of engagement from students. Inquir-Wii will rectify these problems and provide the online learning experience that students deserve.”
As stated on the BHSc website, Inquir-Wii requires that students purchase a VR headset and full console for labs, a TikTok-blocking software, and a Wi-Fi booster for a total of $1025.00. Additional McMaster package features can be purchased for $7999.99, which includes the smell of the HSL washrooms, virtual meals complete with Centro cockroaches, simulated MUSC traffic, life-sized hologram projectors for Inquiry meetings, and a blocker for the TikTok-blocking software.
However, this announcement has been met with backlash from BHSc students who feel that this is another ploy for the faculty to get money. First-year student Ho Li-Fuk lamented, “There are too many damn platforms! Most profs couldn’t even figure out how Teams works, and yet they add ANOTHER PLATFORM? I’M GONNA BE BROKE!”
Unfortunately, Ho was too overcome with rage to comment further. BHSc staff issued this brief statement in response to Ho’s comments: “If you don’t like it, then just participate in class and put us all out of our misery.”
Spiciness Rating:
The Procrastinator 