Yesterday, Associate Dean Stacy Rich announced that CBC has expressed “significant interest” in producing a TV series documenting the marking process of the first- year Cell Bio class. The name has not been finalized, but executives are reportedly leaning towards either “NOCAT and Afraid” or “Yes…or NOCAT.”
When executive producer John Johnson was sent a clip of the professors in action, he just knew that he had struck it rich. “When the one with the British accent described an answer as ‘simply rubbish,’ I was immediately sold.”
The show will feature a panel discussion featuring the three esteemed professors and a special guest judge rating various hypotheses. The contestants and hypotheses that are granted the highest score will win bragging rights and not having their med school dreams crushed. To spice things up, the show will also feature a bonus round, where the student who wrote the answer is invited to sit in the panel. The first professor to make them cry wins a guest post on Dr. Airichk Seedletz’s blog.
Unfortunately, as the Toronto Zoo just brought in a new shipment of capuchin monkeys, professor Toponga Ragnocharee will not be unavailable for taping. The short-list to replace him alledgely includes celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay, talent manager Simon Cowell, and North- Korean dictator Kim-Jong Un.
When word got out about the new show, other BHSc faculty members decided to try their luck at their own TV pitches. Inquiry facilitators have already shot pilots for “Undercover Peer Tutor,” “The Real Housewives of Core 12,” and “Project Group Randomization Is Blind.” The rumoured show that has gotten the most attention, though, is “The Masked Inquirer,” which will feature a panel of facilitators who must examine the engagement of students with their cameras off to guess which are AFK.
The curriculum for HTHSCI 3SS3: Surviving Survivor has been overhauled so that all students are now charged with pitching new show concepts. Much like in the writers’ room of The Procrastinator—to be topically rebranded as Procrastinate 101—any dissatisfactory pitches will result in their creators being sent to a deserted island by canoe so that the eliminated writers can participate in a proper rendition of “Survivor.”
These students aren’t the only ones facing stiff competition. Other universities are also vying for CBC pickups with pithy titles like “Queen’s Med Gambit,” “Keeping Up With the Kem Modules,” “Hell’s Student House Kitchen,” and “Big Brother: Respondus Edition.”
Spiciness Rating:
The Procrastinator 