With Valentine’s day now behind us, our writers have noticed an alarming amount of public breakups occurring on or closely after Valentine’s, specifically outside of HSL. We here at The Procrastinator just wanted to offer our sincerest apologies for setting unrealistic expectations for you this special day. We know your partner read our Valentine’s Day issue and was appalled by the fact that your relationship was nowhere near as romantic as the ones we described. “WHY DO YOU NOT FEEL FOR ME THE WAY RONAN FEELS FOR JULIENNE?” The woman screamed loudly over the phone. “WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WON’T DROP OUT OF HEALTH SCI FOR ME?” After seeing the defeated look of the now ex-boyfriend, we knew we needed to come up with a way of fixing the catastrophe we caused.
Presenting: What to do if your significant other broke up with you because of a banger fanfic.
| Option 1: Realize that they were worth it, that they were the one, and drop out of health sci to prove your love and devotion for them. | |
| Pros | Cons |
| You are back together with your ex | You are back together with your ex |
| You don’t need to find another person to date | Your relationship is only stable until the next Valentine’s Day Procrastinator issue |
| Option 2: Date your ex’s best friend (just remember to ask your ex for permission first). | |
| Pros | Cons |
| They are friends because they are similar so you probably will get along | Their best friend mostly likely also has great tastes and reads The Procrastinator so they may also have unrealistic expectations |
| You most likely already know (or at least heard of) each other | Your ex’s best friend might be already taken (and The Procrastinator does not endorse homewrecking) |
| Option 3: Realize that the med grind waits for no one and swear off relationships until you finish residency. | |
| Pros | Cons |
| Feel like a #GIRLBOSS because you chose your career and aspirations over men | You miss out on the experience of young love (can you even socialize anymore?) |
| Will become a doctor and bring great honor to your family | You might never become a doctor so does that mean you will be alone forever? |
We hope these suggestions will help navigate you through these rough times and please email the.meducator@gmail.com with the results if you do end up using these options!
The Procrastinator 