‘Twas the night before Hoco and all through McMaster
Not a creature was sleeping, sane, or sober
The Chem midterm scantrons were sent to the front desk
And Chebba went home for some well-deserved rest
The residence life staff were prepared for a fight
Their tactical vests and Domino’s would last them the night
My roommate with his fake ID and I with my pack of six
Had just settled in for some relaxation and drinks
When suddenly my phone rang and it arose such a clatter
I sprang from my beverage to see what was the matter
A few buddies of mine had just arrived from Western
They were in town for festivities and needed a place to slumber
So I went to ground floor and greeted the pack
Swiped my keycard and welcomed them to Mac
But alas, to our surprise, as we stepped in the front hall
A military checkpoint halted our group to a stop
“301, Al Einswine”, I stated with confidence
My mugshot, however ugly, allowed me passage
But my comrades, not so lucky, were listed No-Fly
They were ejected from the entrance without a goodbye
I immediately started texting and initiated plan-B
Instructed the gang to meet in the stairwell to the east
My guests would have air mattresses to crash on by the end of the day
But I did not expect waiting, sitting on the stairs, a CA
“This area’s off limits! You don’t have authorized access!”
“Get back to your quarters before I kick your carcass!”
So I humbly complied, and went back to my place
But I was soon on the move, this time with three suitcases
Sneaking in via luggage would be a tight fit
But travelling Air Brandon Hall tops flying Spirit
With my passengers in hand and a determined stride
I circled back to the front and looked the res staff in the eye
The sarge’ recognized me as a regular and waved me through
My trojan horses and I rode up the elevator, no rushin’ our moves
In my dorm, I relaxed and my troubles parted
My visitors were in the building, it was time to get the fun started
The Procrastinator 