In a groundbreaking event that has sent shockwaves throughout the student community, it appears that fourth year students in the esteemed McMaster BHSc (honours) program have begun to revolt upon reaching a consensus that higher education involves too many classes.
In an exclusive interview with a fourth year BHSc student, Sal Ami, they shared their deeply distressing experience, claiming: “I already have to attend biweekly meetings for my thesis project, you are telling me I have to go on campus once a week to attend Praxis now too?? Doesn’t BHSc understand that most fourth years didn’t renew their housing lease since they thought they were going to get med school? Why is the program rubbing salt in the wound?”
Indeed, the sentiment seems to be unanimous among the student body. Anita Twelve, another senior Health Sci, lamented, “Does McMaster not care about global warming and carbon emissions? I thought I would only have to commute once a week to spend MSU club funding on boba, I didn’t realize I would actually have classes 3 days a week! And get this…only one of them is virtual!”
Sources report that students are forming underground support groups, with names like “Health Sci’s for Mental Health” and “Classless Revolution.” One student, who wishes to remain anonymous, confessed, “I haven’t seen the inside of a classroom in weeks. I’ve mastered the art of stealthily avoiding professors and am paying the TA under the table for participation marks.”
The university administration remains baffled by the sudden surge in complaints. Tracy Rizz, the faculty dean, responded, “We were under the impression that students wanted to learn. It’s quite shocking to discover that some do not believe education is more than just acquiring a degree. We will be launching an investigation into this matter immediately.”
As the campus buzzes with whispers of rebellion and potential boycotts of the library, one thing is clear: the fourth years in the BHSc Program are not taking this class epidemic lying down. Will they triumph in their quest for a classless utopia, or will education continue to disrupt their well-deserved nap schedules? Stay tuned at The Procrastinator as the situation progresses
The Procrastinator 