Author: BindToMe69
Pairing: Big R x reader
6,969 words
Tags: high school, anthropomorphic, flora and fauna of the gut, ducks and monkeys, eat the AcH-rich molecules, thin, pasty skin
(Author’s note: guys, i’m sooooo sorry this took so long. it’s been a bananas year. Stuff with a car and whatnot. Don’t forget to reread parts 1 and 2 because it’s been so long!!!)
Lunch just ended and it’s time that i put my plan into action. Ron (testosterone) clearly thinks i’m bootiful, so i’m going to use him to get Big R’s (Receptorxander) attention. Remember girls, guys want what other guys want. i learned that from teen-molecule vogue, the only reliable source of information for secondary-going-on-tertiary proteins.
As i walk into the class, i don’t see Big R and his large site anywhere. This is perf. i plop my bag full of books — because i’m super duper smart — on the desk. i need to hurry. i lay the trap and scurry out of the room. i bump into someone.
“Hey *sniffles*, hey. Oh my gamer god, it’s you *sniffles*. Hheheh, what’s the, umm. hurry, umm, hotty?”
Uhhh it’s norepinephrine. He’s such a weirdo, i swear he’s obsessed with me because he’s always staring at me with his crazy large pupils during class. Why does this always happen to me????
“i forgot something in my locker, so please move,” i scoff at him. His sweat is visible and it’s grossing me out.
He doesn’t move aside, so i daintly shove my way past him before i tell him that his existence irritates me. The bell rings and i wait outside til i see Big R take his seat. It’s now my time to shine!!!! As i walk in, i tuck my hair behind my ear to make sure that Big R sees my gorg face from my good side… and i sit down… and i scream in agony. i’m laying on the ground in a pool of blood and everyone’s attention is directed to me. everything is going just as i had planned. You see, the blood was actually just the 253 packets of ketchup i had been hoarding in case of an apocalypse. But only i could know that, so with me laying there in red fluid, Big R or Ron had to save me.
“Please, i need CPR. Someone please give me mouth-mouth resuscitation,” i yell with all the anguish i could muster while staring directly at Ron. i see his eyes widen, definitely in glee at the prospects that he might be able to kiss me. i ensure that Big R sees that Ron wants a piece of me.
“i’ll save you, princess!”
Before i can register who said that, i feel clammy hands on my shoulders and someone blowing spouts of hot, skunky air on my face. i almost puke from the smell and the realization that it’s norepinephrine who’s touching me.
“GET OFF ME YOU UGGO!!!” i screech. i jerk up and slap the functional groups right off him. i’m about to yell at him again when the teacher clears their throat and i realize that everyone is looking at me like i’m crazy. i want to denature myself. i get up and run out of the class with tears flowing down my face (thankfully, i’m not wearing any makeup because i’m super duper confident in my natural beauty, unlike other girls).
i rush to the washroom, run the faucet, and allow myself to cry even more tears. i can’t believe that i humiliated myself like that.
“Why didn’t Big R or Ron follow me out?” i think to myself. i sigh. Boys will be boys, i guess (derogatory).
i hear the bell for the final period of the day and i try to think of how i’ll be able to face Big R and Ron again. i think long and hard as I stare at my enantiomer in the mirror. i’m out of ideas when i hear the door open.
“Are you ok?”
They shouldn’t be in the girls washroom, but i smile shyly. i guess my performance impressed someone…
Sorry for the cliffhanger!!! Part 4, the finale, coming soon!!!!! :)))
The Procrastinator 