PSA

Why do the vast majority of you walk with great difficulty? Considering it is a skill that humans develop by the age of one, you’d think that you would be adept at this point in your life. Would it really hurt to figure out where you are going before entering the crowd? Please stop making it my problem that you don’t have the foresight to plan the next three minutes of your life because, unlike you, I have better things to do than stand in the middle of a hallway. Should we really be learning about the complexities of scientific, social, political, mathematical, and financial endeavours when we still don’t realize that standing in front of a lecture hall door impedes students from leaving? My patience has run dry and every day I get closer to a university-induced demise. So please, peel your eyes away from your phone, walk with intent, and remember that I only accept reparations in cash.