Ah, first year–when we all thought uni is just one long string of Red Bull-fueled (thank you welcome week) study sessions. You’ve barely set foot on campus before exams are being hurled towards you from left and right. Between midterms, quizzes, and finals, it feels like every course comes with a mini panic attack disguised as a course outline. You were convinced that this is all that will ever be: a positive feedback loop of cramming and praying to the gods of Scantrons, except there will be no return to homeostasis. By the time exam season rolls around, you’ve successfully adopted a study routine. But what of your social life? Gone, just like your GPA after that chemistry exam.
But then before you know it, it becomes quiet. You pass through the first few years and suddenly… crickets. Exams? What exams? You vaguely remember the word from your earlier years, but now, your biggest academic challenge is how to coordinate a time to meet with your health pol group. You’ve traded in your practice tests for “readings”, and exams have mysteriously transformed into 10-page reflections and presentations that you’ll actually lock in for the night before. Instead of finals, you get “final projects”—which may or may not be able to be finished over a weekend with the right combination of diminishing focus and intensifying panic.
The Procrastinator 