Femininomenon

(It’s a fem) it’s a femininomenon

(Hit it like) hit it like rom-pom-pom-pom

(Get it hot) get it hot like Susan Tiger! 

Lyrics echo in the background as Kamala tries to sleep. 

“Damn that dehydrated Cheeto, the only thing he’s gonna do is make incest legal.”  Kamala laments. 

Tossing, and turning, mourning over the recent loss of the election… until sleep finally comes to her. 

Kamala wakes up in a dream, where Biden and Trump had become the ultimate yaoi duo leading the eagle land to destruction. She enters Gilmour Hall and trudges herself onto the second floor to find the president’s office. 

Golden hair cut in a perfect bob with her lips lined in a beautiful mauve lipstick, there sits Susan Tiger in her entirety on the president’s chair. Kamala pulls up a chair and sits beside Susan, she questions “How did you do it Susan? How did you become president?”

She whispers back “femininomenon”. 

A lightbulb clicks in Kamala’s head and she takes Susan’s hand and brings her lips to hers. 

“Let’s become the ultimate yuri couple and rule over the world together,” Kamala giggles.

“Yes, my queen. Let us join hands to make sure all coconut trees thrive!” 

They clasp hands together, and walk out of Gilmour Hall with a mission in mind.