(ahem, not laboratory, you keeners who hang out in 1R1 for fun) Lavatory Nights 🚽🌠
Let’s start with a little tune:
Latrine lovin’, oh what a blast
Toilet swirlin’, happened so fast
I met a stall, waitin’ for me
Heard a flush, cute as can be
Now it’s time to get to the serious stuff:
Your external and internal urethral sphincters are tired, so do them a favour and visit a ceramic throne of your choice across this grand campus. Use at your own risk, may be so comfortable that you get hemorrhoids, or don’t, and get urinary incontinence in 60 years.
*(Ratings measured in units of toilets)
| -2/10 toilets: MUSC – No, just no. |
| 0/10 toilets: Thode – If you rearrange the letters in Thode, you get: Nope. Enough said. |
| 1/10 toilets: MDCL – For a building that houses the most intelligent, bright, top 5% of the young adult population, the bathrooms are counterintuitively, put gently, unappetizing. Use as a last resort. |
| 2/10 toilets: JHE – Semi-mid. Why is the atmosphere musky? |
| 6/10 toilets: DBAC – Some things are worth searching for. |
| 7/ 10 toilets: PG – Don’t accidentally walk into the wrong loo, pro tip: they alternate sides depending on which floor you’re on. |
| 10/10 toilets: Single-user washrooms – So spacious, so private, so stocked with soap, paper towel, and toilet paper. |
| 11/10 toilets: LRW – A hidden gem, truly. Beautiful. Breathtaking. Scrumptious. Excellent experience guaranteed. Features a large mirror and great lighting for the most elegant of bathroom selfies. Bonus: No one will hear you poop, they’re either too busy practicing flight of the bumblebee on piccolo or screaming in the soundproof rooms. |
The Procrastinator 