14 July 2022
I sit down for HTHSCI 3GG3 training, my chair squeaks, I ran out of my hair gel, and I was late to grab a coffee this morning. Nothing seems to be going my way today. Penn Mash stands up and introduces herself, blabbers on about who she is and what she does. In health science fashion, we go around introducing ourselves, giving a fun fact or two. I mindlessly listen as everyone talks about their dogs, kids, the worst student ever taught, and their boring hobbies; I’m blissfully unaware that my life was to change forever.
Someone sitting in front of me speaks up. His voice is so deep, I can’t help my eyes jumping up to meet the melodic source.
“My name is Kalen and I am just an intern here, hoping to make this position permanent if all goes well.”
23 September 2024
I clear my throat and adjust my glasses.
“Good morning everyone. Please settle down, I have a lot to get through.”
Whispers dance across the room, silence slowly overtaking the space. Spotlight in my eyes. In the basement, the cold cuts through my blue blazer. I begin my lecture. I sense the quiet hatred in their eyes. The boredom. The mundane lull of my voice, of my life, echoing in the Togo Salmon Hall. I feel his presence behind me, unwavering and warm. He doesn’t speak, he doesn’t move, he consumes the fibers of my every thought. We made eye contact when I entered the class.
11:20 hits, everyone rises from their seats, rushing out and leaving me alone. He runs out and leaves me lonesome. No backward glance.
10 October 2024
He’s agreed to call me Miles. Nothing sounds sweeter coming out of his mouth. Well, almost nothing.
I see his confidence slowly build with every class. Long gone are the days of him standing three steps behind me, arms crossed, a scowl on his face. He has taken over setting up for me, always making sure my mic is connected. Even though he doesn’t know how to change the slides, it makes me feel like someone finally wants to hear what I have to say. He’s even graced me with the sound of his voice, occasionally answering a question.
We walk to my car, together, I offer to drive him home, he always refuses.
4 November 2024
I convince myself I don’t have feelings for him. I have a wife. I have children. I have never been happier. The butterflies I get when I look at him are just nerves. My tenure meeting is early next year after all. This is all I’ve worked towards, and yet, I can’t keep my eyes off his hazel ones.
We have a meeting after class. He’s sitting so close to me, I can see the freckles on his nose. Everytime he looks at me, I get lost in his gaze, he must notice this. He leans closer, I can smell his cologne.
“Kalen, we can’t do this. I’m up for tenure and you’re still in your probation period.”
We stare at each other for what could be forever. We are forehead to forehead at this point. He kisses my nose and we continue our meeting. Something about Kingdon. The only king I know is sitting beside me, blissfully unaware he owns my heart.
2 December 2024
The end of the semester arrived quicker than I wanted it to. I don’t know the fate of Kalen’s future at the university. I’ve been filling my time with preparations for my tenure meeting and writing countless recommendations for Kalen. I can only hope he stays at the school, he stays with me.
We meet in my office and take the seats we’ve grown comfortable in, I’m always to his right. He goes on about what a great semester it has been and how much he’s loved working with me.
He reaches out his hand for a handshake, but we’re well past that and I pull him into a hug. He gives me a tight squeeze, looks up at me with sad eyes. I’m confused.
“I’m so sorry. Miles. My feelings for you have grown too large to ignore and I fear I will not be able to work with you without taking things further. I handed in my resignation this morning, I’m moving to British Columbia where ““The Long-Term Care Quality Framework describes a common provincial understanding of quality in long-term care (LTC) and offers a way by which BC may measure and evaluate existing quality of LTC as well as progress and improvements in the LTC sector.””(1)
Bibliography
1. Health M of. Policy and Standards – Province of British Columbia [Internet]. Province of British Columbia; [cited 2025 Feb 24]. Available from: https://www2.gov.bc.ca/gov/content/health/accessing-health-care/home-community-care/accountability/policy-and-standards
The Procrastinator 