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The Saint Vayer’s Day Midterm Massacre was the GPA-torture of over 200 members of BHSc’s core stream.[1] Students were gathered in MDCL 1305 on the morning of February 14 where they were sat in chairs with fold-out tables the size of an iBioMed’s forebrain. They were administered a test paper containing 14 multiple-choice, 9 short-answer, and 3 bellringer questions, all of which were designed to lower the class average to give life sciences students a better chance at medical school applications.
The midterm resulted from the competition for control of Anatomy and Physiology in BHSc between the Education Program in Anatomy, headed by Elana Vayer, and their Inquiry-based rivals, led by Barren Ditchwater.[2] The Midterm question-makers have never been conclusively identified, but members of the TA team who were rejected from third-year med were suspected to be involved; others have said that members of the Child Health Specialization who wanted to gloat about their inability to bubble a scantron played a part.
When questioned, members of the 2FF3 instructional team stated that “any concept presented in lecture, lab, or tutorial is testable.”[3] Whether Vayer’s statement was related to being denied tenure at a recent committee meeting is unclear.
The Procrastinator 