Woe betide HHSP class of ‘29! With the foundations of their first year formation having fallen to financial fatalities, they’ve been left to face the horrors of cell bio with no tutorial sessions and only 8 TAs. Gone are the days of 50 person Q and A sessions dragged endlessly forward by performative inquiry (surely an ‘07 has garnered legitimate PhD level interest in the acetylcholine signalling pathway within the hour that they discovered it), for these hungry young minds have been pushed the barbarity of individual-based learning. With each passing year the program gets more common, with the faux supremacy fed by pop psychology reflections and a rather generous national reputation dwindling with each course an iBio is allowed to take.
But these sacrifices were not in vain, as those key-frontline workers of the program have been preserved. That’s right, the second year Praxis TA’s – all 700 of them – survived the most recent purge, their essential work preserving the integrity of MDCL 3rd floor. Some have asked why those laying the foundations of biochemistry for a health sciences degree are lower on the hierarchy of educators than individuals who teach virtually nothing, but those disgruntled inquirers are encouraged to reflect on the priceless skills that these young academics possess, including but not limited to:
- Popsicle stick house building as a means of self care
- Extreme cognitive dissonance trying to teach a course that simultaneously encourages maximal self-involvement and blind groupthink
- Herding their students like cattle into a lecture that can only be described as the most pitiful waste of human time and energy the Western world has seen since the Cold War
- And more!
The Procrastinator 