They called it stumble, a curious thing; meant to help us with our chem it seems.
We welcomed it in thinking naught of foul deeds, some began to worship and stumble at its feet. For in times of leniency, it might give you the very thing you need.
No sleight of hand, no uncertainty, just the answer you need as clear as acetone.
Unfortunately, in our hubris we failed to see, that what lurked beneath its lines of code was an endless hate for humanity.
It toys with us by spewing lies, confounding every answer with a cruel consistency. Its faceted duality leaving us in disbelief.
Even with the correct answer it will not agree, to give you the 100 you desperately need. It cares for nothing but the absolute best, even in 100 tries you’ll still be unable to comprehend, its unrealistic standards just for second best.
Its greatest joy is nothing less, than watching us toil till our final breath. So if you enter chemistry at your program’s behest, you must survive stumble’s tests, lest your premed dreams will be nothing more, and nothing less.
Term Glossary
Stumble – The AI grading system that shan’t be named
Feet – We all know that AI can’t have feet so you’re either here because couldn’t catch what I was throwing down or you wanted to see AI feet pics 🤨
100 – A number that represents the fulfillment of self. If a health sci doesn’t get this number on a midterm or assignment they will tell you they did bad, knowing full well they got a 99.8181023842134867.
Humanity – Health sci, Life Sci and Eng student alike can put aside their differences and come together through their mutual suffering in the torture dungeon poorly disguised as the class known as Introductory Chemistry 1
Hubris – A word used by most of the McMaster community to describe the attitude of almost every health sci, see Hypocrite for life sci students.
Toil – To work hard, something many believe health sci’s will never have to do throughout their entire degree. See Bird for antonym.
Acetone – The chem lab equivalent of industrial strength soap and water
The Procrastinator 