It’s truly the end of the era, as our fearless leader Queen Elizabeth II has passed away at the age of 96. During her reign of over 70 years, she presided over the end of decolonisation in Africa, a stop to whatever happened with Brexit. Above all, she remained a symbol of British values and represented the last shred of dignity for the British monarchy. Though her death sparked a wave of mourning in the UK, feelings regarding our former monarch’s death are somewhat mixed on the other side of the pond largely due to her complicated legacy, particularly with the monarchy’s role in colonialism. While Elizabeth was not directly responsible for the colonial expansion of the British empire, there is yet to be an official apology or criticism for the widespread destruction and lingering effects today. To say that the British monarchy is a tricky topic is an understatement; it might be best to just avoid it all and go to North America, which has never dealt with these issues before.
For those worried that the system of imperialism will crumble due to the loss of its most prominent figurehead, never fear! The Procrastinator has decided to uphold the system in honour of Lizzie, as we are delighted to announce that we are an MSU-ratified club for the 2022-23 year! The Procrastinator that you have come to love is no more: with great power comes great responsibility and great MSU funds to execute our augmented schemes! To continue Lizzie’s illustrious legacy, we too will be conquering befriending other McMaster newspapers in the hopes of sharing our unique Procrastinator advantages! Additionally, as the UK will be ruled by a patriarchy for the next few generations, we will also be shifting our leadership and petitioning MSU leadership to change accordingly because of course we need the system to be upheld by men. Additionally, we will be creating McMaster-specific currency with our logo on it; no confusion now over who’s going on the money! Stay tuned for the design release in our next issue.
The Procrastinator 